Opinion | ‘Friends’ was my childhood friend, but it didn’t come without its issues

Older television series have a lot of diversity issues, so is there a way to  navigate watching shows that individuals have a personal connection with in spite of that? I have a loving relationship with the TV series “Friends,” but I also address aspects of that series that should have been better produced and written. Photo collage by EMI THOMAS, Staff Photographer

By Romi Blackstone, freshman strategic and corporate communications major 

Similarly to many, I find an immense amount of comfort in television shows from the ‘90s and early 2000s. 

Whether it is an early 2000s drama like “Gilmore Girls,” a teen drama like “One Tree Hill” or a ‘90s sitcom like “Seinfeld,” I’ve seen them all. But there's one '90s show that changed my brain chemistry forever and is by far my favorite TV show of all time: “Friends.”

“Friends” ran from 1994-2004 and has generated nearly $1.4 billion since its debut. “Friends” became a worldwide phenomenon and has been and will continue to be embedded in our culture. 

In spite of this, “Friends” has gotten a mountain of backlash over the years for their lack of diversity and out-of-touch jokes. But “Friends” isn’t the only older TV series that has gotten that kind of backlash. This begs a question: Are we, as a society, allowed to enjoy our favorite TV shows even though they’ve received rightful criticism?

“Friends” featured six white main characters and had very few people of color make appearances. There was one Asian American woman throughout the series, who was only in the second season. 

The show’s lack of diversity is so blatantly obvious that even past talk show host and former “Friends” love interest, Charlie, played by Aisha Tyler, has been open about how the fans still remember her as the “Black Girl'' versus what her character actually embodied. 

I believe that “Friends” holds some responsibility for not normalizing people of all backgrounds being in front of the screen. If diversity had been more normalized on Friends, Tyler and other people of color who were on that show would not feel singled out. 

Along with the show’s lack of diversity, “Friends'' only partially represented the LGBTQIA+ community. I say partially because, on the one hand, it showcased queer characters long before other shows did. It is established in the first episode that Ross’s ex-wife Carol left him for another woman, and she and her partner Susan were proud and not at all ashamed to be gay. 

“Friends” also went beyond discussing matters of homosexuality and even discussed the transgender community. Chandler's dad was a transgender woman who did not care what people had to say about her.  

Romi Blackstone, freshman strategic and corporate communications major

On the other hand, while “Friends” did showcase multiple LGBTQ+ characters, much of the writing towards those characters wasn’t positive. The jokes directed at Carol, Susan and Chandler's dad often reinforced harmful stereotypes such as Ross stating he should have known Carol was a lesbian because she enjoyed beer straight from the can or the fact that Chandler's dad Charles was never fully addressed as a woman or called a name that was more fitting to her.

Yes, it can be said that “Friends” was ahead of the time in terms of LGBTQIA+ representation, but the writing geared towards the community was definitely not. 

Additionally, the way “Friends” talked about weight would never be allowed today. The majority of Monica's storylines revolved around the fact that growing up, she had a heavier figure. She was made fun of relentlessly, and body positivity was definitely not taken into account. The show contributed to the idea that you have to be skinny to be happy. 

Despite those issues, “Friends” guided me through my childhood, much like a big sister. I learned all I ever needed to know from the six main characters, who I actually saw as my friends. 

I didn’t have the traditional birds and the bees talk with my parents that so many other teenagers have to awkwardly sit through. I watched people engage in sexual acts for the first time on “Friends.” I even learned what condoms were through Monica and Rachel fighting over which of their boyfriends got to wear the last one they had. I also learned what true, healthy, female friendships meant through Phoebe, Monica and Rachel's relationship. They supported each other through the best of times and the worst of times and exemplified how to healthily work through issues with the people closest to you. I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate in my friendships and romantic endeavors because of this show. 

One of the things that I love most about “Friends” is their Jewish representation. As a young Jewish girl, it meant a lot to me to see the way the show portrayed the Jewish religion. 

In most shows, Judaism is the butt of the joke, and the jokes are oftentimes offensive. However, in “Friends,” two of the main characters, Monica and Ross, were Jewish, and the Jewish culture was celebrated and normalized. It meant so much to me to see Judaism as a part of life like everything else. 

I know I am not the only one who has had a personal connection to a TV show, whether it be “Friends” or another. So should we diminish all of what our comfort shows provide for us just because of their ignorance in particular areas? 

I am of the belief that we, as a society, can acknowledge the fact that there are some jokes and scenes in old TV shows that would never be shown today and that the writers of certain shows, including “Friends,” should have been more inclusive. However, I also think that we can still find joy in TV shows that don’t necessarily fit in today's culture and appreciate them for what they did for us. I don’t subscribe to the idea that both of these thoughts should be exclusive. 

This is definitely not an excuse for “Friends'” poor representation of many groups, but I believe it is important to consider the time that it was made. During that time, ideas and jokes that are considered offensive now were completely acceptable to say. 

Oftentimes, I can not fathom how many of the things accepted over 20 years ago were accepted in the first place. However, it is most important that higher authority that has caused damage to minority groups in the past, learn and grow from their mistakes.

Marta Kauffman, the creator of “Friends,” has said since the show finished, she has since learned from her past mistakes and is more conscious about hiring more people of color in her current and future productions. Kauffman even donated $4 million to the Department of African and African American studies program at her alma mater, Brandeis University.

While Kauffman's donation and efforts to better educate herself don’t change the harm that was caused in the past, learning from mistakes helps us move forward in the future. And, although there are times in which “Friends” could have set a better example for the audience by showcasing more individuals from diverse backgrounds, the show has gotten me through the hardest times of my life, and it will forever mean everything and more to me.