How a panic attack turned into a film festival darling

Graphic by Easton Clark, Photo Editor

The idea for John Kelly and Tara Lawall’s award-winning short film, “Retirement Plan,” started with creeping existential anxiety on a budget airline.

“I just became aware of all the lists in my life and how it was going to be an unattainable struggle to try and get them all done before I die,” said Kelly, the short’s director and co-writer. “I immediately thought of Tara, and I sent over this rough idea.”

Simple yet poetic, the structure of “Retirement Plan” focuses on a man named Ray detailing his aspirations for life as he gets older. In a way, the film acts as a bucket list. The central monologue centers on repeated “I will…” statements that vary in tone from witty to thought-provoking to existentially dramatic.

“I think this feeling (is) very universal. It's something we're always thinking about, somewhere in a low hum of our minds,” said Lawall, co-writer on the short. "It was very easy to tap that vein and just write about all the happy things, the sad things, the stupid things, the fun things that we always wish that we had been doing at every second of our life, and how we shouldn't really push them off until we're 65 and older.”

This intimate story became an artistic form of release for both Kelly and Lawall. Having previously worked together on several commercials, “Retirement Plan” presented a new challenge for the duo as a departure from advertising. Rather than being forced to sell a product over the course of 30 seconds, “Retirement Plan” breathes over the course of an intimate and meaningful seven-minute-long short film. With a simple animation style, the short uses its minimal techniques to communicate broader ideas.

“When you spin off from this big machine to make something for yourself, that's a complete pendulum swing,” said Kelly. “We didn't want to make something indulgent and epic, we wanted to make something that was achievable and simple. It's not a piece of animation that’s a big show-reel piece; it has a kind of quiet power to it.”

The film’s script is masterfully read by Domhnall Gleeson, known for “About Time” and as General Hux in the recent “Star Wars” trilogy, who embodies this quiet power with a tender approach to the film’s tonal balance. Rather than confining Gleeson to a specific direction, Kelly discussed the collaborative and open approach to achieving the film’s aching authenticity.

“(Gleeson) was really enthusiastic about the project, and it seemed to kind of connect with him,” said Kelly. “He's a very funny guy, and you can see him thinking constantly as he's working. The last couple of takes, he was like, ‘Okay, I'm just going to improvise. You might use none of this.’ He kind of springboarded off the script, and it was really fun. We used quite a few bits from that in the final film.”

Yet, in the world of independent short films, producing from script to screen is only half the work. With its global premiere in July of 2024, “Retirement Plan” is nearing a year and a half of playing at various film festivals around the world. In that time, the short has gone on to win awards in Ireland, Mexico and, most prominently, both the jury and audience awards for Best Animated Short Film at the South by Southwest festival last March.

“There's a lot of impostor syndrome that comes with any creative pursuit,” said Lawall. “I think that it's just going after what you want to do because you love it, and knowing that you can keep building and keep learning. And why not you? Be the person that makes the thing, because we never thought we would know how to do this, and we're just figuring it out.”

For both Kelly and Lawall, the success of “Retirement Plan” throughout festivals hinges on their creative approach. The necessity of self-confidence in one's creative voice is not to be overlooked.

“Try not to make something that you think will get into a certain festival or something that you think will win an award,” Kelly said. “Just really try and tune into: What are the things that you love? What are the things that make you really excited? Who are the people making work that inspires you?”

In a way, this commitment to the creative spirit and personal reflection is at the center of what “Retirement Plan” is all about. In its delicate and poetic reflections on the divide between our aspirations of aging and its reality, the short becomes a strong expression of the human condition. While it easily could have been a depressing wallow in existential dread, there’s an affirming quality to seeing these repressed thoughts represented on the screen. The short film is an inspiring call to live life to its fullest with the time we’re given.

“It forces people into a reflection, and then whatever format that takes for them, we think is really special,” Lawall said.

As “Retirement Plan” wraps up its festival run with incredible accolades, both Lawall and Kelly expressed an inspiration to continue making personal and intimate projects. The short has recently been picked up by The New Yorker with plans for a digital release on Nov. 12.