The singles’ survival guide to Valentine’s Day

Illustration by Zoe Arntsen, Illustrator

Being single on Valentine’s Day hurts. But being born on Feb. 15, also known as Singles Awareness Day, can sprinkle on an extra level of pain. Remi Edwards, a sophomore creative producing major, can attest.  

“I think it’s a curse,” Edwards said of her birthday.

With heart-shaped merchandise all around, this holiday can be scarier than a Halloween horror for all the bachelors and bachelorettes out there. Options might seem limited for those without a sweetheart. But don’t feel alone, there are plenty of single folks on campus who have advice to offer on navigating the holiday. 

That couple kissing in the Piazza isn’t as happy as you think.

First, it’s important to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. Many singles on campus expressed the notion that Valentine’s Days in the past have not always lived up to their expectations.

“He suggested this pizza place, and I expected he would pay because I realized it was Valentine's Day,” said sophomore writing for film and television major Leigh Tiger Fitch. “Then he ordered the pizza, and then he looked at me like I was gonna order after him. Ironically, there was a family next to me, and they were talking about how they can always hear when people are on the first date. And I think that was on purpose.”

Additionally, those with a partner might find that the day is about more than simply celebrating with a loved one. Valentine’s Day pressures couples to pay increased prices and fight for a suitable dinner reservation. 

“Valentine's Day, they hike everything up. Just hearing my brother talk about having to reserve dinner reservations makes me stressed out,” Fitch said.

Being single can give a heightened sense of clarity when viewing relationships. It’s not just pessimism talking in these cases; there is actually a neural explanation for why people in love experience a certain “love blindness.” According to Harvard Medical School, romantic love deactivates a certain neural pathway responsible for critically assessing your partner.

“I've noticed that when I'm not liking people, I hate people in relationships so much more and (what) they put up with, because their brain is literally releasing chemicals that (are) blinding them from what's happening,” Edwards said. “But I've always been the honest friend.”

Most people can testify to their friends in relationships being “blinded by love.” Without undergoing the love-induced brain fog that many couples suffer from, single people might be able to assist their friends in making rational decisions in relationships. While your friend might not listen to your advice on breaking up with their partner on Valentine’s Day, you can take pride in being a voice of reason in their life.

Cry yourself to sleep

Another coping mechanism for surviving Valentine’s Day lies in commiseration with others in the same position. When asked about their plans for the holiday, several individuals responded with “crying myself to sleep at night.” There is something comforting in being in a situation similar to others, and joking with them can be a cathartic experience … even if you really are crying yourself to sleep at night. 

Fitch also expressed that there is a vacuum that occurs when too many people are looking for a date at the same time.

“The worst parts around Valentine's Day are people trying to get with you by Valentine’s Day, when it's around that awkward mid-January to early February (timeframe),” said Fitch.

Feeling pursued on a deadline might get you a date, but it can lead to feeling like the courtship was inauthentic or motivated by the wrong reasons. 

You can still celebrate without a date

Another method is to keep yourself busy with the aspects of love that are free to partake in, without the need for a romantic partner. Multiple students suggested putting on a rom-com, enjoying the aesthetics of the holiday and celebrating loved ones. Maybe even do a little Galentine’s with your friends.

Although the holiday places an emphasis on romantic love, it’s important to consider the validity of platonic and familial love as well. Take the time to do something special to express your appreciation for the people closest to you.

On the other hand, it can be fun to participate in activities that have nothing to do with romance at all. 

“Make yourself a dessert for yourself. Maybe play some volleyball outside,” said freshman theatre performance major Arnold Amarsanaa.

Hit on that cute barista

And, after all these excellent ideas, if you’re still in the business of looking for a Valentine, the best part about being single is that you have your options open for a meet-cute.

“I’m going to a UCLA party. It’s like a speed dating type thing,” said freshman writing for film and television major Sachin Lakshman.

Luckily, Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday this year, so you can stay out late partying and entertaining your options. Or, you can assess other single people looking for love at a coffee shop, library or around campus.

“Romance will find you in its due time. You just should enjoy your single time, because by the time you're married, you really don't have any time alone,” said Fitch. “We’re so young. We’re in college. Go out with all your other single friends. Being single is one of the best rewards that you can ever give to yourself, especially at this age, because you will never be this young, hot and single (again).”

Go love yourself

And finally, remember that your identity doesn’t revolve around who has asked you to be their Valentine. It’s important to find comfort in your own company and security in your own solitude. 

“Before you’re ready for anybody else, you’ve got to be happy with yourself as a single,” said Lakshman.

This Valentine’s Day, the most important person to show love to is yourself. If push comes to shove, you can always get yourself a bouquet and box of chocolates.